taking a break

Hello my lovely friends.

This past week has been the worst I’ve had in a really long time, possibly ever. From Thursday to Saturday, I ate a total of one meal (which I proceeded to throw up), and then on Saturday I took over 80 of my antidepressants in an effort to end my life.

I’m not going to go into a ton of the details because I don’t think it’d really do much. I went to the hospital, got some fluids, got the pills mostly out of my system, and got sent inpatient. I got discharged this morning with a referral to a partial hospital program (which is essentially super intensive day-therapy), which I will be hearing more about at some point over the next week.

Needless to say, this has been a lot to process. I’m still trying to fully comprehend what I did with all its implications and what that means for my recovery.

With that being said, I think it’d be best for me to take a pause from writing for a while. I think this has been an extremely helpful tool in getting myself to share and be open about my recovery, which is great. At the same time, though, I don’t feel like I’m in the right place quite yet to be talking about recovery. Talking about my struggles without having any insights from the other side of this suicide attempt won’t help anyone and could potentially be triggering. I’m going to take a step back for now, but I’m really excited to be able to return to this soon and share what I learn.

All my love,

Allie